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Before The Negotiation: Ask, Ask, Ask

Lesson 9 from: FAST CLASS: The Power of Negotiation

Vanessa Van Edwards

Before The Negotiation: Ask, Ask, Ask

Lesson 9 from: FAST CLASS: The Power of Negotiation

Vanessa Van Edwards

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Lesson Info

9. Before The Negotiation: Ask, Ask, Ask

Lesson Info

Before The Negotiation: Ask, Ask, Ask

So you primed, right? You thought about what kind of motion I wanna have in the room of you primed to the couple of materials. You want to start with questions. The biggest mistake I think that people make is not warming up. Not enough foreplay. Not enough slow build, right. We like to have that slow build. So many studies show that report is incredibly important. And second, you miss a learning opportunity. There's going to be a part of your research column and your assets. There's going to be a part of your research column. This is why it's so long you leave blank for those things that you learned during the report. Building questions. There's going to be things that you learned during that report building that you couldn't learn with pre research report. The studies are very clear, subject to schmoozed on a call by revealing a small personal detail about themselves that had nothing to do with the ghost. The negotiation actually did better. Thes partners, felt more poor, proposed mor...

e trusting plans and had better outcomes. Social lubrication will make bargaining easier, especially with email negotiations. This is incredibly important with email, and it's usually the first thing to go with email, we think, Oh, we got to get right to the point. We barely even say hi, sir. Right. Like, Hey, Sarah, maybe we say, How are you? Which is perfunctory, right? We don't even really mean it. And then we dive right into the details. That first paragraph of your email, just like the 1st 2 sentences of your meeting, should be questions about report. Okay, how do you start? Luckily, there is really interesting research from Kellogg School of Business on how to best start a negotiation. 93% of negotiators don't ask starter questions. That's the biggest missed opportunity. What they found was his questions are actually the best for producing the kind of outcome that you want. And specifically, there are three different types of questions. So when you think about these, we talked about report building questions. There are also value finding questions. So questions generally about who they are as a person. What? What's the best way to approach them on the last kind of bucket? Is intel sleeping? Right? So this is trying to figure out gaps in your pain point gaps in your assets so they're specifically questions to find out answers. Specifically, As you find these points, I want you to look for those moments where someone kind of lights up, right? You asked about the family, and that's okay, us to introduce. That's okay. You asked about the game coming up. Who that gets them excited. That would set you up for setting the perfect gift afterwards. A jersey. A pen. Ah, follow up email. Hey, I watched the game last night. I'm so glad your team won like that's the perfect way to that. Open your next one, and I want you to put stars next to those little moments in your research column as you're talking to them. Remember, everything is negotiable. It's the other mistake that happens when you're actually in. The negotiation is we think that only certain things are on the table, right for talking about compensation. We think it's only compensation. We feel afraid asking for anything else. Just because you're told something does not mean it is not negotiable. Everything is negotiable. Surprisingly, even with cars and homes as well, which a lot of flexibility there, and Alexis Wolf talks about that in her right up of buying home. Try to find hidden information. This brings me to my next big mindset piece. So when you go into the room and your prime ing for excitement, the very next phase you want to go into is this journalist mindset. What is the hidden negotiation here? Where are the assets I haven't thought about? Where is the bigger pie? You're coming in with the biggest pie you could possibly think of, but they might have some more dessert behind the scenes, right? You don't always know that. So I want you to start to go into this is how we lead into talking about money. It's hard to go from cold report to money, so it's easier to talk about report and then slowly transition to some of these Intel questions. And then it leads you into naturally talking about your packages so sometimes asking for advice like saying so. I really want to go to work for you. Any ideas for what we can talk about, how you want to frame today to make sure that we're really getting the best for both of us, like that's a really great piece of advice, and they might say to you, You know, I've got a couple of these Negotiate. I've been in a couple of these pitches. Your my 4th 1 Very good information for you to know, right? 4th 1 I've heard it all. I've heard all the benefits, everything. I just want to know what makes you different. Then you go into those batons. Those those those assets that you know you've already done your worth on it make you really different. You're gonna skip all the other stuff. At least leave it to the end because you just found out exactly how this person wants to be pitched. So I highly recommend if you feel brave enough cause asking for advice, commute Interesting way to approach negotiation, asking for advice. I start every negotiation this way. Special note. I just talked about answering, which is perfect. You should be sharing to not only answers that demonstrative, but also you also want to share a little bit of vulnerability vulnerability here as well. So the power of self disclosure can greatly change a negotiation from being kind of perfunctory toe actually being teamwork strategy were the Albert and Gay found the disclosing personal information to your partner helps you build greater report as well as when you disclose this so funny, unrelated personal information. Your partners negotiate less aggressively, giving you a better overall deal. So if you can, as you're thinking about your answers to the questions, you're gonna ask where we're gonna have three questions right ago on your sheet, thinking about your answers and thinking about what are some shares that you can give right? Hopefully, they're related to the actual outcome, but they don't have to be right. It could be something else that's going on in your life. So that really helps with that. Someone seeing you as a person and not just an opponent that helps get them into the partnership mindset. You already there? We've seen to get them there, too. So let's do a really quick review before I want the next sections. Make sure we're all on the same page. So before you even walk into the room, you've assessed your worth and your confidence. You've diagnosed their pain points. You've done a ton of research offline online mutual contacts. You prepared your goal and your badness, your alternatives that are gonna give you that flexibility and freedom. So next we've primed the partnership. We've asked questions for reporting sleuthing, maybe hopefully asked for advice and given a little bit of self disclosure. Now we're ready to transition to negotiation, right? We've now started to get into the industry. They have given us advice on how we could best proceed. You are set up to now dive into the actual money talk.

Class Materials

Bonus Materials with Purchase

Worth Audit
Why Negotiation is a Life Skill
Quotes Cheat Sheet
Negotiation Goal Worksheet
Mistakes Cheat Sheet
Best Books on Negotiations
Sample Videos Updated
Negotiation Cheat Sheet
Laws Cheat Sheet
Proposal Templates
They Say, You Say
Raising Your Rates Swipe Files
Money Scripts
Gotcha Moments
Deadlock Cheat Sheet
Cold Pitch Swipe Files
Case Study - Wedding Photographer
Case Study - Corporate Speaker
Asking for a Raise Swipe FIle
The Power of Negotiation Workbook

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