When You Bare Too Much
We have the next one, your cover's blown, and this is when you bear too much. Why would we do this? Well, sometimes we wear too little, and this is not just exposing yourself because you like it, it's exposing yourself because of an unhealthy internal reason. Climate, there may be some places in this world that are hot and you may wear less. And when you come to a different place, people may not understand why you're showing as much as you are. Or, there's differences in showing bodies, let's say, wearing undergarments, things like that. If that's a cultural issue, you don't need to alter everything because of a different culture, so you wanna make sure that you're true to yourself and to your culture. Activity level, sometimes we wear less when we're more active. There's also, like I said, cultural levels of exposure that you have to examine, especially when you're looking at somebody and you're judging them. Maybe in their culture, it's not abnormal to go to the beach topless. I saw ...
a naked man running today in the Bay Area. Now, maybe on the east coast, this is not what we see, but maybe elsewhere it might be, who knows. There's also some people who do this for kind of a shock value, so it's to get a reaction, attention of some kind, even if it's negative. There's also the social media attention. I feel like when I look through social media, a lot of people take off their clothing because they want to get people to actually look at them. There's also distraction, so using the body as a distractor from what is really going on inside, maybe because you don't feel like you're good enough. And also, there's a pure enjoyment of body celebration. I talked about what is valued in men and women with the girls that I did my work with and again, it's also what is valued, that women can expose and men you don't see that as much. You're not gonna see a man in super tight Larry Luke's, but you might see a woman in Daisy Duke's, and why is that? This is the diagnostic checklist. We look at this if people are wearing clothing that essentially is not fitting. If it's showing body parts they don't wanna show, belly button, backside, breasts, cleavage, where it's kind of inappropriate to do so. Clothing that's pulling at the seams. They're getting, maybe, attention from people that they don't want, they feel uncomfortable with. That they're using this as a means to attract attention, it's the only way they feel like they can attract attention. Other people may be making comments, people that really love them and care about them and are concerned. If they look around the room, nobody else is wearing this and they are, so maybe something's going on. A lot of times when people start covering up, they literally feel unattractive, that the only thing they have to offer is their body, that there's nothing else. If you've answered yes to most of these scenarios, you might be dealing with this overexposure, and how do we manage this? Number one, I do a billboard theory. In a perfect world, nobody would judge us, but they do. We can use this to our advantage and control the message we send. You have to make sure that you like the message that you're sending and if you don't care how people respond, do nothing. If it bothers you, then you can alter it, especially when we are considering level of exposure of the body. You wanna consider the audience and your comfort with them. If you're going on a first interview, wearing something that's way too bare, may not be the message that you wanna send. Later on, as you know the person, you may feel more comfortable doing that, but in the beginning, if you're not comfortable, you don't need to do that. You also wanna create a message with other things other than exposure, and that might be the fit, the color, the accessory. You also wanna look to others to find the best balance of what is sexy, so that might be like a celebrity that does it perfectly, not too much, not too little, or just the amount you like, and they do it in a different way than you. We also wanna accentuate what you love about yourself. You may love your body, fantastic. If you're wearing the mini dress because you love your body and you feel great, I'm not gonna change that. If you wear the mini dress because you feel like that's all you have to offer and there's nothing else, and you wish that you could not do that, that's when you have to examine what are the other qualities that you wanna show people and how would you do that with your clothing? So really achieving exposure balance. And then I also tell people to develop the internal qualities. If they feel like this is all they have to offer, well let's talk about your gifts and talents. Let's do some pottery making classes. Let's do some art work. Let's do some public speaking. Let's work with animals and help them. Let's develop, don't change anything about your clothing, but let's work with the internal self and see if the clothing changes as a result.