Creating a Lasting Change
creating lasting change. It's why you're here on a create lasting change. Two chains. You must first decide that you want to change if you're here. My guess is that you want to change. But did you have you made a conscious decision to change Now one of the things in your in your manual at the very beginning that I haven't hear, but I didn't really focus on is about your commitment, right? I talked about your commitment. I told the story about the guru, right? The person who wanted to become rich and went to the ocean or went to the beach. And he said, What did he say? What did he say? If you want to be successful, you need toe want as much as you want to breathe, right? We talked about commitment, and I just want to pull this up again because I had Why are you here? How are you committed? This is page 17. How committed are you and what I want you to realize? Because maybe you went through this. Maybe you didn't. If you didn't go there, it definitely go back because you want to be commi...
tted at a Level 10 So let me ask you this. Um Rachelle, on a scale of 1 to 10. How committed are you to having what you want with your money? 10. Totally a 10. Yes. Okay. Cool. Um, can I ask this question? You don't have to answer this if you don't want to. This might put you if you don't answer, is gonna put you in a really bad Okay. On a scale of 1 to 10. How committed are you to your honey? 10. 10. I'm scale 1 to 10. How committed are you to your future? 10. 10 scale. 1 to 10. How committed are you to this course? 10. That's obvious. Okay, so Rochelle is all tense, Totally committed. Awesome. Now, you may not feel that committed. Or maybe, you know, you think you're 10 but you know, like that down. There's a part of you. You know, I'm committed to the course, but I also want to watch TV or do something else to relax or whatever it is. So the next question is number five. What has toe happen to make each of the above answers attend? So if you're a 10 great. Then you could instead just right. Why? Why are you so committed? We're talking about lasting change in deciding some going back to this so that you you can really capture why you must change. Because this is about lasting change for you. It's not like create lasting change. Like meaning. How can I change my partner so I can have lasting change? New. We're overcoming overcoming your money issues today. This is all about you, right? So what has to happen to get you to a 10? And why? Why is it a must? Why is it a must that you change? Okay. I just want to draw your attention back to that. That's page of 17th and 18. So to change, you must first decide you want to change. That's your commitment. Now, I have a little left hand here, as you noticed. Probably noticed I'm right handed. And so we'll tell you quick analogy. So let's imagine that you broke your arm. Okay, let's say you're right handed. I'm just gonna use right hand because most people right handed you left. People do be a favor to switch it in your mind. So it's easy for I don't have to keep going back and forth, right? Let's assume you're right handed and you break. You break your arm, it's your right arm, okay? And you're in school or whatever and you need to write. So this not like today when you're like Kathy Computer, I'm talking about, like writing, right? So now I broke my arm and I have to write with my left hand, right? So let's start with my name right, Especially if I'm taking time. I can write my name with my right hand. Look how need I am when I'm not rushed. This is my neatest. Okay, now with my my left hand on, write my name, I'm taking my time. It's better than my chicken. Scratch what? I'm going fast. Do you think this is uncomfortable? Do you think it feels weird? Do you think it's not as good, even even though it's not terrible, but not as good as this one, right? It's just different. It's this different. I think that's that's messy or personally, but it doesn't matter. The point is, it's uncomfortable, is different. It's a change, Okay, as you can see him, really playing this role in my arm is totally broken check it out. What's not magic? OK, so now what happens if six weeks go by and I'm writing with my left hand? Am I going to get better or worse? Better cause I'm practicing, right? So let's just assume this looks better and I write even better, just trying so hard to write better and so on, right? And after six weeks of writing with my left hand, it's probably gonna look ah lot closer to this, or at least a lot neater right now. What happens if then I get my cast off who? And now what happens? You'll start writing in my right hand again. I don't have to do this. Every time you get it right, I start writing as long as I'm taking my time is actually going to be easy. It's gonna feel natural. It's not gonna feel uncomfortable. And I'm like, It doesn't take long for me to get back into my old habit. See where this is going of writing with my right hand. Now let's say weeks go by months, go by and write with my right hand writing with my right hand writing with my right hand, and you say Hey, Robin, can you write with your left hand? I take it. Haven't written with my left hand for weeks for months, years. Whatever it is, I right. It's gonna be like this Back to where I started. Um, I'm gonna go all the way back to where I was before, even though I had six weeks of practice writing with my left hand. Is it Is it likely that I'm going to go back to the way I first wrote it with my left hand? Is it likely? Yes. Okay, what if this is gonna be really gruesome and gory, okay. And kind of gross, but it's illustrate a point. I'm not actually showing it. So it's not that gruesome. Gory, But let's assume that instead of breaking my arm, it was so bad that I had to get amputated instead of six weeks of writing with my left hand years of my whole life the rest of my life with my left hand after a certain period. Time doesn't matter. How long will it be? Uncomfortable? Yes, I would think. Probably not. After a certain period time. At some point I've been writing, let's say years. Let's say two years have gone by. I have no arm. Right? And I'm writing with my left hand at some point like this is not gonna feel unnatural is not going to feel uncomfortable. It's not gonna feel weird. And it's probably gonna look. It might be different because of the left hand. I don't know, but it's gonna be similar. Like I'm gonna write. Fine. Like I'm not gonna think about it's not gonna be conscious where I'm sitting down on like, it's been five years. I'm still running in my left hand. Man, this sucks. My name is so hard. All right? I'm never going at this. Done right, but had to write a whole term paper with my left hand. After five years or 10 years of writing with my left hand, it's not gonna be I won't even think about. It's gonna be unconscious as we call. It's unconscious competence. You've heard that before. Unconscious competence. How does that happen? Bring my arm back. Nice to have both arms. And here's I want you to think about and I wrote this and I think I wrote it in the manual. But let me see. Oh, this What I wrote in the manual, you must amputate. Okay. In order to create lasting change, you must amputate your patterns that are no longer serving. You cut off all options that'll attempt to to run the same patterns because you will be tempted. Cut off all options. If I said the most important thing in my life, it's a write with my left hand and do it well, not feel bad about it. Feel good, right? Really easily consistently known, Owen Comfort the most important thing in my life to do that. How am I gonna do that? To make sure that happens, I gotta cut off my arm. It's like people say, you know, could you lose £30 right now? Yeah. If I said if you really, really want to do it was the most important thing. Could you lose? How would you do it right now? I'm talking today, like in the next five minutes or 10 minutes or 20 minutes. Well, actually, she could That's what I was alluding yard and gave it a punch line. You can cut whatever win £30. You it because it was the most important thing to me. It cut it off. Lost £3. If you cut off all of the options, That's the only thing left. If it was that if you were at that level of commitment, this is the level of commitment. I want you how? With your money in your relationship doesn't have to be cutting off limbs. So you're okay. But cut off all those options. All those things aren't serving you. Those patterns like this is where you draw a line and saying You say no more, no longer money. Am I going to choose to believe arena that I need a man to put a roof over my head no more? That's a decision. But how do you keep it? How do you make it last? Right. How do you make it a lasting decision? This is the seas. Okay, conditioning. First you have to recondition a patter. Right? So this great example First I ride it, Okay? I did it once. If I do it once and never write with my left hand again, am I going to get any better? If I write one time with my left hand and then I never again write with my left hand. Well, I get any better at writing with my left hand? No. Correct. Yes. OK, I did that better. This side. Okay, great. But if I condition it by right everyday everyday. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Soon I'm gonna get really good at writing. I love you by condition it. If I do it, I have to do it consistently. If I do. One day I'm like I changed my life. Um, I write with my left hand. I'm gonna condition this. I'm gonna do it three times. Three times every year. I want to get much better at changing this pattern of writing with my left hand. I'm getting better as no consistency. Condition it, then do it over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. We say do it over and over again. No, over and over again until it sticks. When do you give up? Never. Never. What's the average amount of time in her? Tony Robbins said this. What's the average amount of time you give a baby to learn how to walk on average, How much time would you give them 14. Ok, so 14 months ago. But you're like, OK, baby, walk. Not walking. Crawling right. Walk, baby. Walk up. 14 months done. Guess my baby's not gonna walk. How much time you give him? Until they walk ID strict to you, right? It's also help involved there, too. I mean, you don't just like walk Remy. Yes, Walking. You walk. I'm glad you brought up dogs. I'm about to introduce you to moxie, huh? Yes, but I'm not holding up, you know? Of course. Yeah. And that's a great point, because look, I'm not asking you to do this alone. I'm not saying you gotta go change. You got to go change. You gotta go change. Got a good change. And good luck. You have help, right? You have help in 12 weeks and the 12 week Thank you at the 12 egg integration program. And if you want to work with me, you can talk about working with me. I mean, that's an option. You know, I have group programs. I have private programs. There's, like, all levels of programs, so that you can continue on your path. I do not think you should do it. alone. I do not think, by the way, that you learn this stuff. And now you're your own financial advisor. No. Oh, no. You gotta find someone you trust. You gotta find someone who's gonna help you. And we're gonna talk about that on day three, mainly to make sure that you continue on your path. Because this is is not over. Right? Ongoing process. So consist, conditioning plus consistency equals change. Now, there are five ways to create lasting change. They're more than five ways. So this isn't it. Don't like the chat room there like there are six ways. Don't you know? There's probably, like, 100 ways to create lasting change. I'm using some some that I know that I think are really, really valuable. The first way is to get leverage. Now, what I mean by that is to really get leverage on yourself, meaning that you need to associate to the pain. Remember I told you about my fertility story, and I told you that I thought it would just work out. Now a lot of people think that way about money. It's just gonna work out. Now If you continue to tell yourself that you're just allowing yourself. You're giving yourself permission to not reach your goal. Oh, it'll just work out. So let's say you say, Well, I need to retire. One Retire in 10 years and I have nothing saved. By the way, I think it's, um, the the U. S. Census or the American Dream Foundation. I forget. Sorry. Forget this, this exact statistic. But the average American Sorry, it's 40%. 40% of Americans have less, then $10,000 of net worth. Sorry to have the exact statistics I can get it. Maybe you guys can look it up, but it's like 40%. Okay, so what I'm saying is it's easy for us to say. It's just it'll be okay. I'm gonna retire in 10 years, and I'm sure it'll all work out. If you keep telling yourself tomorrow is 10 years from now, it's tomorrow. It's gonna come whether you like it or not. But if you instead allow yourself to sit in the pain, get leverage on yourself because right now I'm just talking about you and you could get leverage by someone else, giving you leverage. And here's what I mean by that for example, Um, let's say there's so so this. Is this a true story? It's just real short. But there's a man who was a smoker, right? He's been a smoker all his life and smoking 20 years or whatever it is. And hey, he knew we should stop smoking, you know, he knew wasn't good for his health. And he, you know, he thought about quitting and he kind of tried to quit, but never could really quit. And then, you know, nothing really got. He didn't feel like he could change. It was like I'm just a smoker. That's how it is. And then one day he's sitting down. His daughter, four years old, comes up to him, sits on his lap and she said, Daddy, I don't want you to die. Daddy, please stop smoking. I don't want you to die. Imagine your four year old said that to you. You want to be there for your four year old? Do you want to watch them grow grow up to be? You know, bigger kids grow up to be adults, right? To live their life. And you like your your daughter. Your son believes that you are going to die because you continue to smoke. That's leverage. That was it, he said. Enough is enough. I'm done. Never smoked a cigarette again. His life. That's leverage so you can get leveraged by someone else making comment or saying something or doing something or you can actually make this is this is all having you control it so so you can give yourself leverage by associating to the pain. Do you want to come up and talk about your situation? I can't. Sure. I want to bring tissue with me. Tissues. Let's bring Rina up because she's got a situation she started to tell me about and you want change. And I think people at home want to hear what's going on. Because people probably a lot of people can relate to your story. So tell Tell us, you know if you can somehow because I know there's a lot, a lot of it, one of the things you told me. Well, you tell me. Okay, guy, you if I want to hear something else, Okay, So So tell me what's going on with you and your husband around money. So, um, my husband is very successful. He works in the healthcare industry, and he is very successful. I envy his success, and I would love to be able to meet him where he's had in his success. I didn't grow up the way he did, um, so that in and of itself, our belief systems are completely different around money. Um, I think also because of, um, me being an older sibling, growing up and feeling like I need Teoh show up to be a role model for younger people, my siblings and and others was important to me and tell me more about like your situation, like so he has a good job and and what's going on with you and your dynamic with money? What's the problem if I said, What's the What's the challenge? What's the biggest challenge you guys are having? Well, im I have this deep passion to, uh, make a difference under my terms. So I refused to refuse. Well, yeah, pretty much. It refused to work a job, okay? And he wants you to work a job. He thinks that it would be better for me to work a job, work it for however long, which means, like forever, pretty much At least that's that's your belief. So I will notice. By the way, no distress is. We're starting to learn some of your beliefs. Cash are so that one you just said is, um, say that one more time that, um my belief is that you were to get a job. If I were to get a job, I would probably end up having a job for the rest of my life working for somebody else. But so I'm not saying you need to get a job just so you know. But what I want you to recognize is that the belief that if I get a job, I will be doing that for the rest of my life. What's what's going on there? It's called pain. There's so much pain. Jesus, Do you have a lot of sitting? Sure have a lot of pain associated to working a job, she believes. If I start working this job, I will be doing it for the rest of my life. This is why she's not doing it. There's so much pain associated to that now. She also believes that her husband not only suggests this because it might be that what's true. Maybe just he has suggested it as an option. Sure. Okay, but she believes that he thinks she should do this. Am I right? Yeah. Okay. So because he believes that that that doing that and contributing financially is what is going to save our marriage. Okay. Are you believe that he believes that or he told you? That's what I believe, a little bit of both. I mean, I have to believe what he says. Well, you know, we're all wearing masks, but OK, so got it. So he you think he believes that you need Teoh, if you not that you need to get a job, that he believes that you maybe it's a good idea to get a job. And if you were to have a job and have more money than you guys wouldn't have problems like married, right? Right? Sure. Because for me to start a career selfish Okay, so you also believe that he thinks you believe it selfish or you think he thinks it's selfish? I think he thinks that me having building a career for myself, the self it did he tell you that? No. But other people who are involved in his life have told me that. Okay, so by the way, you're not the only one with issues. Sure, we all have issues, but he's not here, so I can't really work with. Really? No. Too bad. But that's OK, but what's great is that you're gonna project. Not even projecting necessarily. But you're gonna guess these beliefs and they could be based on other people. He might have even said that. But if he said that, where is it coming from? His own issues, his own fear, his own beliefs, right? Leaves about me. Well, it's actually not about you, OK? It's not is about him and what he thinks he needs and what is important to him and all that. It's not about you. It's just that you're representing what he wants. Right or not, right? Yeah, But what he doesn't have not s so I mean, if you want to make more money. So my point here is this is that right? Now, you know, you're focusing on what you believe, but you're focusing more on what you think he believes. And beliefs are what they're just made up, right? Right. Whether he made him up because his parents made him up. It doesn't matter. And I'm telling you that you can overcome your money issue so you can shift your own beliefs. Now, it's gonna be hard. I wouldn't advise to try to shift his beliefs. You could give him the manual, you can say, Hey, honey, this is really important to me. I want to work on this together. I know I have issues. By the way, when you admit that we're gonna talk about admitting mistakes when you admit that the other person surrenders, Typically I have issues and I have mistakes, and I'm working on them. And I walk so badly, honey, for us to work on it together. Yeah, And if you could work on yourself. Look, I know you're amazing. I love you. And I know like, I don't want to change you. I want you to see what you want to change so that we can make this work. Your intentions love. It's that we stayed together, that we make it happen. Right? So let's focus on you for a section for I know you can't forget him in your situation, right? Yeah, but your situation What you've told us so far is that he gives you a roof over your head. Right. Um, your money is separate. Yes, our money separate. Can you tell them what's happened in 2009? Um, well, without getting in trouble, um, filed for bankruptcy in 2009. You did, or you both did. I did. Okay, Great. And it doesn't matter why, right? Has he got advice from someone? It wasn't good advice. It doesn't matter. And then the advice that you got was also to split up your finances. Yes. Okay. So ever, It wouldn't be liable for it so he wouldn't be liable. Okay, which I'm not gonna comment on, whether that's right or not, but it doesn't matter. It happened. But the fact is that that now the way you run your life as a couple is that he has his money, you have yours. And if he is spending money on things for you guys, he is taking care of you. And it's kind of like you feel indebted to him. Am I right? Yes. And you feel shame. You told me. Yes. Yeah. And you feel like you're not good enough. I don't I don't feel like I'm not good enough. I feel like I I should and I could. Okay, You're making money. Awesome. Dude up. Because how he wants you to make money. Yeah, let's say that. Safe to say he wants to make money. Oh, difference the world so. And you want to make money? Yeah. Okay. So noticed this, by the way, often times you're gonna have aligned goals. But you have different ideas of how to get there, right? But, you know, it doesn't matter how you get there. You just have to get there like there's no conflict right here, right here with this. What you just said You want to make money. He wants to make money, You're in line, ready to make money. He doesn't really care if it's a job. He just has his beliefs. And he believes that because of whatever's happened in his life, all experiences and parents and all the stuff that's happened, he believes that the best way to do that is to have a job security, like a lot of people believe that that's not weird. Yeah, I think that difficulty, The deeper concern is that because I have been struggling to build a business, and I have no no experience and no education in business. Which is why I love creative life because I've learned all the things that I've learned because of, you know, a lot of it because of creative life and all the, you know, the educational Andi financial tools that are available for free if you, you know, if you don't make money. So that's I've been able to learn as I go along. But yet, you know, when I build a building, there are, you know, potential struggle's potential consequences and potential failures. And sometimes I have gone, so that's crazy. You never kneel, never failing on make mistakes. I find all the thing is is also very sensitive. And he feels when I am in pain or when something I tried. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid to succeed, but I'm afraid t to show my failures because I feel like thank you. And by the way, she's the only one afraid to show her failures, right? I mean, are we all afraid to show our failures when, uh, I mean, you know, you've been watching and you've been here, and I've shared Aton a town with you about, like, my failures and what I want you to notice. And by the way, I will share more. Um, let me ask you this. When I told you that I struggle, I've been struggling with fertility. And when I told you that I was single for 10 years and one night, by the way, that's a failure, right? I mean, you can think of it as a failure. So just let's just pretend it WAAS Okay? I failed to have a baby. I have failed. You can say it's all my fault. You can say it's okay, but if we look at the meaning of failed, it failed to happen. I don't have a baby yet, right? Yeah. I failed to be in a relationship for 10 years, right? I mean, I What else did I tell you about? You know, I forget that so many things I you know, whatever. It doesn't matter. But my point is, when I told you that you were sitting there on the couch and you were sitting there and some of it was fun when I got brought out the guitar. But when I told you that did you feel like? Did you start judging me and feel like, Oh, I shouldn't listen her advice anymore? No, she doesn't know what you're talking about. Financial advisor who was single for 10 years now she's not money relationship. Or did my vulnerability give you even more confidence? Like I've been there? Like I've learned from it, learn from my failures. And because of that, I have power like vulnerability gives you power. Right? Okay, So what I want you to take away from this and this is just a new belief you may or may not choose to adopt. Is that your vulnerability that you're afraid to make mistakes or t reveal those mistakes? That one thing. If I could take one thing, there's a lot of things we could change, right? But let's just for fun. Take that one thing. We took that one thing being afraid to share your failures. Let's just put it that way. Is that is that resonate with you? The way I said it, give me the give me the one sentence. Yeah. Put words in my mouth. I just really, like succinct about failure And what you that you don't want to share it or they don't want to reveal it or whatever you just said. Right. So, um, I don't want to be I don't want to be shamed because of my failures. I think it's like, OK, but what, You don't, by the way, don't don't revoke, would you? Don't feel it. Okay, so what I'm gonna take, um, because of the belief is I would be ashamed if I fail. Okay. Awesome. So here's my he hears my hallucination that I will read your mind. Um, if you embrace that and turn that around, turn that belief around instead, adopt a new belief, cause you get to choose that if I reveal my failures, not only one not feel shame, but I will instead feel empowered and be able to help more people that that one thing business explode. I'm not joking. I'm not, because right now, people, if you're you're wearing this mask, right, and you're acting like everything's cool. I'm gonna help you make money, right? You told me you help businesses. You help them make money, right? Well, I help them. Yeah, I expect most exposure. Yeah, More exposure. Okay, cool. So you help them. You know, grow their business and whatever way, get more exposure. Awesome. And you're like, This will help you do and you're like, Everything's great with me. Money is great, like you putting on this mass that things are agree our relation of screen. My money is great, like because they don't know, right? Please don't be watching, right? But they don't know. But my what? What What I'm saying is, if you could reveal if you can reveal some of your mistakes, like I tell people that my husband went through bankruptcy. I'm not saying it's my mistake, necessarily, but that's that's vulnerable to tell people on stage when you're teaching people and he teaches, you know, thousands of people how to make money. And he's like, I went through bankruptcy and I made mistakes and he reveals, and people come out from all the time. Wow, thank you for sharing that because I've been on the brink of bankruptcy and I didn't know what to do in the fact that you did that you turn your life around like I'm so inspired and you can have that same story and it comes with you beginning to, like change that belief, right? Just decide. Okay. And the other part which were just talking about is getting leverage. So let me ask you this. If you don't change that belief, I believe that will be be shamed if I fail. Okay? Shamed If I fail. And another belief is I need a man. I only need to read this. Take care of me. You're like, please write with your left hand again. Who's is? I can do a lot faster, OK? Even if I feel I need a man to take care of me, what's another limiting belief that you noticed a rash? There were some money. Um, that I need. Well, in order to make money, I'm gonna have to work for somebody else. Awesome. Make money, work someone else. Obviously that says that right. OK, so these are some beliefs, and there are a lot of them right now. If you do not change number one, if you don't change his beliefs And if you don't change our behavior meaning you start making money. Okay. What What is that? What could that potentially cost you? I want you to dig down. Here you are. And here's a good way to do it five years from now, Nothing's changed. What's happened? How do you feel if when you haven't made money? If you're still feeling shamed if you fail? If you if you have these beliefs And the result is that nothing in your life changes stays the same. Yeah. You don't make money. You're fighting with your husband. You don't. You know you're not on the same page. Then what does that mean to you? What? How are you gonna feel? I'll be miserable. What else will happen in your life? What could happen? What might you lose all of? I'll lose my passion for life. My life will have no meaning. It was at all. So what you're telling me is that if you don't change whether it's his believes the behaviors actually go and make money because you can. You should and you will help. In effect, like maybe millions of people. It's always millions of people, right? You affect me. I affect them. They affect, right? Yeah. If you don't do that and step into who you really meant to be, you're gonna be miserable. Yeah, fine. Everybody's miserable. No big deal. Right? Find you will lose passion for life. Life will have no meaning. What else was your relationship look like? Nothing's changed. My relationship will be the same. I will be saying whatever it ISS Or can I guess if and I'm saying potentially or it will be over could be right. Yeah, potentially. I know maybe you have serial, have four kids and maybe have No. Four K at home and get home and you will be state and don't want to do that. Is that like, ultimate pain for you? Um, no offense, Mom. T. Andrew Life kind of can get a close up on that like that's ultimate pain like, isn't that interesting? I might have thought that losing passion for life might be ultimate pain. She associates ultimate pain. Look at this can just find you don't having four kids and being a stay at home mom. So here's what I want to do, because that's hard to focus on, obviously bringing tears to your eyes. No, I don't want to do this. You want to change. You have to think about that every single day. That's your leverage. Well, that's and that's and that's That's the thing. It's like I think about I think about my mom and all the things that she could have done or that she still could do and doesn't. Okay. We'll tell you something, Rina. You are not your mom. And you are not gonna live her life right and use that pain and you that fear to conquer it. Because that's all you need. All this stuff in the manual, all the stuff you're learning is all great tools you need. All that stuff is and you know what to do and how to do it. But this this power right within you. Now the thing that brings you to tears, that is gonna change your life. That's what I mean by getting leverage. Go ahead and take a seat. Thank you. Thank you. Actually, before you do that doing that, who was use it? But I don't want her to leave. This is why? Because I don't want her to leave like eyes. Terrible. I'm crying my eyes out, so I just want to change your state. But here's the cool thing that she's got leverage now. And as long as she chooses to use that and go back to that all she needs to write down on a piece of paper. I mean, it it stinks. Man doesn't feel good to be in pain, but it works. It works right when you hit rock bottom when you're at that point. You know, when I was, like, single for 10 years and I had and date and I was writing all the cynical of songs and I I didn't have money and I was like no more. I focus on that pain, and I could turn my life around. Now if you focus on it and then feel sorry for yourself and play the victim like it's not gonna work right? But if you look at that, let's say once a day and you're like no more, no longer Let that control my life. That will never happen to me. Hear this, you loop. It's not very heavy, So don't be. Don't feel bad if, like you're not, like, amazing at it, what I want to do, I guess you can't play any music here while you who Who What can you say that is the opposite of these? These crafty beliefs like something really easy, like, I don't know what do you want to believe? Like I instead of a man, I need a man to take care of me. What's Ah? What's a better belief that I, uh I don't know how, but I control my life just for lack of anything better at work. OK, so what? I want you dio get ready, Okay? It's probably gonna fall. It's ok. Guess what you're gonna do your first. This is gonna be your first failure. Get ready. She's gonna fail, and you're not going to be shamed to do it. Okay, Ready, Ready. And say I control my life. I control my life. I control my life and let's do it, I control.