Hot Seat - Kayla, Balancing Being a Mom and Having a Business
2,062 followers, interior designer hashtag momboss, creator of pre-designed rooms, architect and designer, hash tag cocoa club, feed portfolio, stories for tips, message inquiries, buy a room 99 dollars. She asks, "how do I achieve balance "and get the support from those that matter? "I understand not listening to the haters, "but when it's someone who I need support from "like my husband or my dad "how do I get them on board "when they believe I should just be mommying "and doing this in my spare time? "I really don't want to give up my dreams, "but I also don't want to abandon my children, "it's complicated." And I wasn't sure, if I wanted to highlight this question, but if one thing about me is true it's I don't back away from the hard conversations. And I feel like it's really important, because we started this class asking about social media, and then we all realized quickly, it was never about social media. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to ask Kayla three questions. And I ...
just want you to answer with one word. Question number one. Do you think you're abandoning your children? Yes or no?
Do you think your business will be successful?
Who determines your happiness and your fulfillment?
I don't know, my kids.
So, your son comes to you and says mom you're gonna be unhappy. He determines your happiness and fulfillment?
No I decide to be happy.
I think so too. So if we know that you are not abandoning your children, and if we know you will be successful, and if we know you determine your happiness and your fulfillment, the greatest gift you can give your child is to show them what it means to follow your dreams. You don't need permission from anybody. Your father, your mother, your husband, your children. Your legacy and your ability to be an entrepreneur can only be determined by you. And your children deserve nothing less than to watch you do what you want to do. (applause)
You picked the one question that's gonna make me cry. It's like not fair. But it's really easy say that, but I can't do it without support. Because I need somebody watch my kids, while I'm opening, I have so many dreams, I wanna open a showroom, I wanna have a team of designers, I wanna have a cafe, I wanna write a book. I have so many dreams and I wanna do them all right away. And I want my pre-designed rooms to be worldwide, but--
So who here would like their dreams to happen right away? This is a recurring theme--
But everybody's telling me to wait 'till my kids are like teenagers.
And that's fine.
I don't want to.
But here's the thing, there's a lot of stuff I don't want to do either. But it's ridiculous for me to think that I'm not gonna have four more iterations. Do you think I'm gonna be a marketing and branding strategist when I'm 50? I better not be. I better be something else. You are so young and you're going to do everything you want to do today. You are the 1% of the 1% who gets to wake up and watch your children grow up, sell your pre-designed rooms, be there with your father, call him up, talk to your husband. And it is as good or as great as you would like? No. But is it so much better than 99% of this worldwide population who cannot possibly do what you do? And will it not happen tomorrow? I can't tell you. But it's going to happen. And if we know it's going to happen, just as I said to Monica, just start doing the work and building the systems. You want to build a cafe? Figure out how much it costs for property in your neighborhood, figure out how to write a book proposal, figure out how to hire a team, figure out how to get your contracts. Get it all ready, so that when you know the time is right, you will get this part. And here's the thing, We can always look at the world through two things. Lack and want or enough. So what you're telling me is that you're not getting the support from your husband or your father that you need, but what I am looking at is a woman who's sitting on the opposite side of the United States without her children next to her. So say what you will about who and how much support you're getting, but they showed up for you some way. And we have to see that--
I gave them an ultimatum.
Whatever! And guess what, he agreed. They agreed. So we can look at this as I'm not getting what I want and the way I want it. Of you could say, for right now, in this day, it is enough. And I will focus on either the things I don't have, or the things I do have. And the only thing I could say to you business owner to business owner, is when you focus on what you have, it becomes enough. So that's just where I want you to be right now. And I believe, Kayla, it is not a matter of if I believe, it is a matter when your business becomes successful, you will look back and wish you would have told yourself to enjoy every dang minute with your children. (applause) I do, I just believe that. I believe that. So instead of spending all this time wishing to be somewhere else and having more, you turn and say, right now this is so good. I will never get this day back with this child doing this dang thing. And I could be happy or I could be unhappy about it. I'm begging you to choose happiness.