Before the Negotiation - Interest Matchmaking
Vanessa Van Edwards
Before the Negotiation - Interest Matchmaking
Vanessa Van Edwards
5. Before the Negotiation - Interest Matchmaking
Class Introduction27:29 2
Before the Negotiation - Assess Your Assets13:58 3
Before the Negotiation - Diagnose Their Pain20:47 4
Before the Negotiation - Do Due Diligence17:42 5
Before the Negotiation - Interest Matchmaking10:08 6
Before the Negotiation - Prep Purposefully12:20 7
Before the Negotiation - Bring Aids17:27 8
During the Negotiation - Prime Value09:00
During the Negotiation - Ask, Ask, Ask21:37 10
During the Negotiation - Leverage Agreement14:42 11
During the Negotiation - Money Talk20:50 12
During the Negotiation - Money Chasers13:42 13
After the Negotiation04:31 14
Bonus Lesson - Email Negotiation07:14 15
Bonus Lesson - How to De-Escalate11:28 16
Bonus Lesson - Dealing with Deadlock08:56 17
Bonus - Case Study38:30 18
Bonus Q&A with Vanessa29:14
Before the Negotiation - Interest Matchmaking
Number four: interest matchmaking. So now, you've done your research. Hopefully the top half of your negotiation cheat sheet is filled out. Now our goal is to match your assets to their pain points. How is what you're offering going to solve their pain? How is what your assets are a perfect fit for their needs? This is what I call interest matchmaking. The big thing here I want you to think about is baking a bigger pie. Remember how we talked about compensation. You go into a job interview and the pie is this big. If you think about all the other things that go into compensation, you've actually just brought in a bigger pie. This is what I want you to do now. The more interest you can connect with their pain points, the more value you have on the table to offer, the more alternates you have to offer, so we are gonna bake a bigger pie. And the way that I like to think about pie, or value, is actually from a really funny story. This is the only story I'm gonna also share from my book. Th...
is is a story from my dad, and I think my dad might be watching, so I actually teach negotiation class with my dad at the Producers Guild. He shares this story in our class. It's all about value, so this story has to do with puppies, so in this story, a dad is with his daughter, and he's driving down the street, and he sees on the side of the road a table, and on the table is a big basket, and in the basket is a little tiny golden retriever puppy, and his daughter is immediately like, "Oh my gosh, Dad, can I get a puppy, can I get a puppy?" Dad's like, "Great, gonna be a long day." So he pulls over, and his daughter's bonding with the puppy, and he says to the little boy selling it, "How much is this puppy?" and the little boy goes, "The puppy is a thousand dollars" and the Dad's like, "A thousand dollars for a puppy? "You've gotta be joking, you've never "even seen a thousand dollars in your life." And he's like, "No, sir, it's a thousand dollars." And he negotiates, and negotiates, and negotiates, and his little daughter is obsessed with the puppy, and the boy doesn't budge, so he says, "I can't spend a thousand dollars on a puppy," and he thinks to himself, I'm gonna come back tomorrow without my daughter, right? She's giving it away, she likes the puppy too much. So the daughter's crying, he brings her back in the car, he goes home, he comes back the next day, sure enough, he's still out there with the puppy. He says, "So, still haven't sold that puppy yet, I see." And he goes, "No, sir, I haven't." He said, "How much is it?" "It's still a thousand dollars." They sit there for an hour, negotiating. He will not budge for a thousand dollars. The dad gives up, walks away, that's it. A few weeks later, he sees the boy playing basketball in a local playground, and he goes up and he says, "I gotta ask. "Did you ever sell that puppy?" "Yes, sir, I did sell that puppy." "You did? Did you sell it for a thousand dollars?" He goes, "Yeah, I sold it for two five-hundred-dollar kitties." (audience chuckles) Meaning that value is in the eye of the beholder. If my dad had offered something else other than just that one number, a thousand dollars, he might have been able to find value somewhere else, buying a toy that the boy wanted, finding two five-hundred-dollar kitties that the boy wanted. (audience chuckles) There is more than value than just money, and this is about baking that bigger pie, finding where the value is, beyond just that dollar amount. Value is in the eye of the beholder, that's the most important thing I want you to think about when you're filling out those top three columns. This also helps you with increased bargaining power. So last 30 minutes that we've been talking has also been pumping you up from a scientific perspective, and here's the reason. Journal of Applied Psychology found that individuals who prepare what are called alternate options prior to negotiating had increased bargaining power. Better alternatives prevents you from being dependent on your partner. The more assets and alternatives you think of the more freedom you have, specifically, and this is a term that was devised by William Fry and William Ury, this is called a BATNA. BATNA is best alternative to negotiated agreement. Has anyone ever heard the term BATNA before? So BATNA is something that we're gonna be talking about for the rest of the time. These are your alternatives. Other than your number, whatever that is, what are all the other pieces of value that you can have to offer? What's your bigger pie? So BATNAs, the more alternatives, the more options, the more bargaining power, the more likely you are to get a deal. I want these columns filled to the brim. You have to duplicate it on the back side, you have a two-sided sheet, that's okay too, because numerically the more you have on there, the more likely it is that you're gonna get a deal. It gives you a lot of flexibility and freedom. How many people, by the way, usually go in with one number in mind? So I used to go in with about one number, maybe one alternate in mind. I want you to have five, six, seven different alternates that you can have to increase that value. Couple of examples, so yes, there are monetary alternatives, so it's not just the number. It might also be how you pay the number or how they pay you so it could be paying in cash, paying in installments, offering a guarantee, those are all money-related values. Especially if you have like a bride or a client who's short on cash, you can say, "I know you're short on cash right now, how about this? "I'm only gonna take a 50 dollar holding fee, "which is five percent of my overall fee, "and then we'll do a payment schedule that's monthly. "Every time you get your paycheck. "When do you get your paycheck? "Last Friday of the month? Great. "Let's have it due the next Monday, "so you have time to cash that check. "You don't have to worry about it not clearing." That's an amazing offer that is no hair off your back. Hair of your head, shaved off your back? I dunno, that phrase, you know that phrase. (audience laughs) I was like, hair off your back, I don't know if that's right, okay, okay. Not up on my cliches, guys. (chuckles) Okay, non-monetary alternatives, and these are all the ones we've been talking about. This is what we've been talking about for the last hour. Job: parking, vacation days, office location. Home, if you're buying a home: closing costs, adding cabinets, having them do a scope, sewage scope. Clients: bonuses, timing, referrals. What are other things you can ask for that are gonna broaden that pie. So I would like to hear what are some of your alternatives, at home too, what are some alternatives? Yes, right in the back. I recently had a speaking gig on the other coast and they didn't have budget to pay me cash so I negotiated with them to have it professionally videotaped. Amazing, amazing, perfect, and one of them could've had miles for travel. You have to go across, goes, "I'm sorry, "I can't pay for your travel," does someone in your office have mileage they're willing to contribute towards my ticket? Those are all things, can someone pick me up from the airport, does someone have an Uber credit? Those are all ways that you get that cash back. Perfect, asking them to videotape, I love it. Other alternatives, alternatives to just that cash offer. Yes? So, whenever I'm negotiating my job offers, I usually will ask for like a sign-on bonus, because that's a one-time cash value rather than a recurring value, and I'll always ask for education allowance and maybe like can I start instead of two weeks can I start next month because I want to take a vacation, I want to have-- In between your two jobs. Yes. Yes! Okay, I love this idea, so asking for that cash bonus, that signing bonus, is brilliant because that's a different budget. Salary budget comes out of a different place for an HR person than a signing on budget, so that's such a good idea. You said signing budget, you said adding more vacation time, time in between, what was the third one? Education. Education budget, great. And think about, by the way, you could literally go on your Amazon account, calculate all the money that you've spent on education business books that will help you with the job, and say, "You know, "I've spent over 300 dollars in the last year "on books that will help me. "Do you have an Amazon or education budget "for me that I can use, I'm a big reader." One, that says something really good about you, that's actually an offer, and it's a way that maybe they could add a little bit more to that final compensation package. Great, at home, text, Tweet me your BATNAs. I want to hear them, I want to hear some more alternatives, ones I hadn't even thought of. So you'll notice this brings us to that next line. So this is not at the top of your sheet. Your number is not the first thing I want you to see on your sheet. It's your assets and their pain points. Those come first, then you have your goal number, and then I want you to have at least three, those stars are for each alternate, so alternate things that you can ask for, at least three there, more if you can think of them. So with the wedding photographer shortened her answer, she might say, "My goal is five thousand dollars. "I want five thousand dollars for this wedding. "But here are my alternates." They can't pay five thousand. I would limit my editing time to favorites. So I would send them all the photos and they could pick their favorite hundred and I only edit those hundred. That could save her hours of editing time. That would be a pretty good alternative. That would save, it would be an easy way to save on her and a win-win. She wins, she had less editing time, and they win, because they only edit the photos they would want anyway. Slower editing time, so maybe the wedding's in July, that's peak wedding season and they say, "You know what, I'm willing to take "500 dollars off the price, but I'm "not gonna be able to get photos to you until the winter. "I can get them to you before the holidays "but I'm needed, do it at the end of my wedding season." Then you're less pressured, or your second shooter leaves early. You say, "You know, I have to pay my second shooter. "How about my second shooter just comes "for the pre-photos and the ceremony "and then leaves at the party?" And you're already saving on their hourly, and it's less photos overall, so those are just some interesting ways to think about alternates, those would be easy win-wins, you don't feel like you're giving anything up, because you also get something back.
Ratings and Reviews
Vanessa is such a life changer. I feel so priveledged to have discovered all the wisdom that she shares. My dream is to be able to afford an in person training course with her. In the meantime, I watch the courses and purchasing them so that I can listen over and over. Wish my mom, who is now on life support would have been healthy and alert to have listened with me since my mother is my inspiration to seek how teachings from people like Vanessa. Mom, hoping that you know that I am continuing in your footsteps. Thank you Vanessa and hoping one day to learn from you in person.
What a valuable course! I appreciated Vanessa Van Edwards turning negotiation into a learnable skill. She lays out, step by step: * how to prepare for a negotiation, including a comprehensive worksheet, * what to say (and what not to say) during the negotiations, and * how to follow-up in the most effective manner. I learned skills applicable to complex work situations as well as getting my kids to do more chores. She teaches you how to turn an adversarial negotiation into a "partnership" which not just sounds good, but it is good and she gives you detailed, insightful guidance for how to do this. The 116 page workbook is crammed with practical insights. The 3 hour class and bonus materials are jam-packed with information I can use right now. So worth the investment.
This was the perfect course at the perfect time for me. I have a lot going on right now and I know these skills are going to help me out every step of the way. They are transferable to so many situations! I can't believe how much awesome stuff there is in the workbook. Every question I have is answered, and there are so many examples, it's insane! Everyone should do this course.