Skip to main content

Before the Negotiation - Bring Aids

Lesson 7 from: The Power of Negotiation

Vanessa Van Edwards

Before the Negotiation - Bring Aids

Lesson 7 from: The Power of Negotiation

Vanessa Van Edwards

buy this class


Sale Ends Soon!

starting under


Unlock this classplus 2000+ more >

Lesson Info

7. Before the Negotiation - Bring Aids

Lesson Info

Before the Negotiation - Bring Aids

A couple of things I want you to think about. Again, thinking really strategically. There're all kinds of Prop Ideas I want you to bring. You should come in with an armload full of weapons. Maybe it could be a plastic sword, but other things work too. (offscreen laughter) For example, I actually brought real proposals that I use in my pitches. Lauren, thank you for printing all these out for me. One, when we do body language coaching, I know (mumbles) has this, we actually have a handout that we physically give them. They don't have to have this handout, but it's really nice to have a little booklet they can take notes in, right? If I say, "When you sign up with us, we're gonna give you you're own coaching guidebook." They're like, "Ooh, I wanna see what's in the coaching guidebook." So we actually physically print them out and bind them. Another example is you can actually print out different reports for people. You can print out reports and say, "This is an example that we did with M...

agellan." We actually put in a customized report for them and say, "When you're done, we'll have a customized one of these for you." Here's one, an example from a previous client. And notice, we bind them. We go to Office Max, we spend the $5, and we bind them. Value. $5 turns into $5000 with just binding. It's amazing how much value people put on that. Actually Nancy Duarte taught me that. She's a presentation expert. She prints out the most beautiful, glossy handouts for all of her presentations, because it gives it weight. And there's actually studies that show the heavier the clipboard, the more seriously people take you. No joke. They actually gave people weighted clipboards and heavier makes it better. So we have all different kinds of reports that we use, different kinds of binding. Whew, things flying out. Different kinds of binding that we do. And if you want to you can, last minute, you can see this is one of the proposals that we actually use as one of my real speaking decks. We put real pictures into it. Actually we'll list out... like this says, "Who is for this workshop?", and I actually have a picture of the audience, of a real audience. We list out each of those things. We have bullet points. We also do real testimonials. So we actually print our testimonial on a sheet of paper and print out that testimonial for them. So this gives you an idea that we actually put a lot of work into those props and those preps. You can also even give them a little notebook. So theses are all real props that we use. I want you to have real, heavy nice things. People will add more value to that. A special note on these props. A couple things... there are other benefits for these. One, there are leave behinds. Very frequently, someone will be listening to you, but they actually want to look at your materials slowly on their own. It's a great thing to leave behind with them. Second, they are pass alongs. If you are speaking at a company or an HR director, and you've brought a really beautiful resume, sample of work, proposal, list of referrals, a list of testimonials, they can then say to their boss or colleague or their teammate, "Oh yeah, and this candidate left this." Who are they going to remember? The person who left something with them. And lastly, people place a higher value on physical goods, which has been proven by research. Body language fixers- we talk about this in my Power of Body Language course, so I won't go over it now, but if you have someone who's in really defeated body language, their arms are crossed, they're slumped over, (sighs) they're not really listening, they're kind of looking over at the wall. Every time you hand them a prop, they have to sit up, open their arms, lean forward, and take something from you. Those are all positive micro-messages. So in a way, every single prop that you have, and is very regular, where I will go into a meeting with three or four different props, and I will say, "You know, we have some great work from other clients. If you just want to take a look at these." Pass over. They're out of their body language, they're looking, they're flipping. 20 minutes later, they're back in their bad body language. "And here's an example of a proposal that we're gonna be able to give to you after our presentation, if you wanna take a look at that." I'm constantly giving gifts. Which you will notice, I'll be giving you another gift in a few seconds. Get excited. (audience laughter) That is because I know that it is also keeping you physically engaged. Physically reaching out and getting me into positive body language. Always offer before you ask. Santa Clara University... This one's obvious, but I think it bears repeating. People who received an unsolicited favor were more likely to help the person who gave it to them than people who didn't receive a favor. Obviously. Gifts, props, and offers also create an incredible sense of rapport. A couple of ideas for you on gifts. I love bringing little gifts to things. I actually brought you guys some ring pops, so I can toss them to you, little gifts. Always like these. I have some more, I have some more in the back. I'm actually gonna pass you this bowl. You guys can take and pass it down. I know I skipped you. (audience member laughs) So I love bringing unique and interesting gifts. As much as I possibly can. You can put on your ring pop if you'd like. You can take it during your break. At home, I wish I could send you a ring pop. It's a virtual ring pop. I also, if I have a really big VIP client, I will call their assistant, and I will ask what their favorite coffee is, or their favorite breakfast is, and I will being it with me. You have no idea how wonderful it is when someone actually did the research to call ahead, and they say "Yeah, he loves a flat black and white from the coffee shop right down the street." Great. I stop, I get him one, I get me one, and a couple of cookies, and we break bread. So call ahead, figure out what their favorite drink or coffee is. If you're doing pre-meetings and you want to bring them into your office, say, "You know, I can't wait to have our client meeting. What would you like? Do you like lemonade? Do you like ginger ale? Do you like hot cocoa? I would love to have a little treat waiting for you when you get here." And they're gonna cancel? No. (audience laughs) If you tell someone you have a treat waiting for them, they are much more likely to come. It gives some excitement to it, and I always have treats waiting for people. I also will regularly bring my favorite book for them. I have a whole stack of hardcover, beautiful books, that I love, in my house. Because before I go into meetings, I will be like, would any of these books... would they benefit from any of these books, will they like them? Yes my own. I do bring my own. But I also try not to bring my own in there because I really want it to be a gift. So it might be like, "You know, I really thought you would like this book "The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor so I brought it to you." Or, "I saw on Instagram that you just got a dog and I had this really funny kid's book for your kids on how to treat a dog." Those kind of gifts are really really remembered, and they are very affordable. So I often bring book gifts. Company swag, right? If you have any cool company swag you can always bring that. Travel trinkets like if I've gone on a trip I will often bring things from my trip, especially if I've had to reschedule. So sometimes it happens. I travel all the time for work where I'm like, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I have to cancel, I have a speaking event in Chicago.", or whatever. If I'm in Chicago, I'll get a little key chain of the beam, and then I bring it to them and say, "I'm so sorry I had to reschedule, but I brought you a little key chain for you." And they're like, "Oh great!" So especially if I have to reschedule, I'll often bring them back travel trinkets. A couple of ideas, so Matter Apparel, my friend Lacy Kirkland, I think a lot of you might know her from my previous courses. She's the one with the cool hair, in my body language pictures. She runs Matter Apparel. She has really cool, amazing sayings on tank tops and shirts and sweatshirts. So if I have a really inspiring message that I want to give, I will gift those to trainers. I will gift those to my friends. You can also bring or send apparel as gifts. My friend Alex Franzen wrote a book called "50 Ways to Say You're Awesome," and I frequently have it delivered to people's offices. If I've just had a speaking event, or I'm in that process where they're still thinking about it, I will regularly send them that book. "So great meeting with you. Please let me know if you have any questions. I hope you enjoy this book, just 50 ways to say you're awesome." And of course, Emily McDowell has amazing business cards and cards that are really funny and unique saying, "You rock," and "You're awesome," and "You made my day," and I will often send cards like that. I don't want you to just think about the verbal, it's also about the gifts. So any offer ideas? Any ones that you guys have used? Give me some more ideas. Have you guys had any gifts or offers for people? Yeah? So one of the things that I get a lot, is people don't quite know how much time they need to book with a photographer. (offscreen) Ah, yeah. I came up with a little worksheet of how to calculate how much time you need for certain parts of the day. So as soon as that question comes up in an email or phone, I'll say, "You know what, I have a little timeline builder. I'll send it to you." And it's just a one pager. Oh my God, that's amazing. So worksheet that's a gift and helpful. Just like that vendor sheet I mentioned, that is the perfect idea. So if there is a worksheet you can create that answers a common question, you can have ready to go as a prop, amazing. Any other ideas? Yes, yes. This is something... sorry, I'm Kaley. Hello. This is something that I've received, so not something that I've done, but I love this idea. I was in Switzerland doing some work and try to pack pretty light when I travel. And the company that I was there for, when we walked in, I was with a team. They had branded umbrellas for everyone, which was really nice because we weren't expecting it to be raining and it was. It was just perfect. So especially if you're in Seattle or something, having branded umbrellas is amazing. Oh my gosh, that's company swag that also solved a pain point. And if you can create company swag that will solve a pain point, like if people always show up to your meetings without a pen and paper, you should have pen and paper that's beautifully branded and swagged to give to them. "Oh no problem. I'm so glad you didn't bring anything. I have something for you." Or "When you show up, don't even bother bringing a notepad, I have a beautiful book I'd love to give you," Those are all ways you show an ad that you take your work very seriously, and you want to help them in literally every way. Last reminder before we finish up this section. I know I'm moving very fast. I'm only giving you a very short portion of examples. I have a ton more examples in your workbook for you as well as activities that you can do on your own, so that we can just pound out the class. All of that is in your workbook. I also have sample proposals for you. What Lauren did for me... Thank you so much Lauren. she actually took every single one of my proposals and made templates for you. So all you have to do is download them and fill in the blank. Those are all for you, waiting for you. You can use my templates, you can put in your own pictures, your own testimonials. We have slide decks and a couple different options for you. You just have to fill in the blank. Those are all made for you, if you are wondering what went into a proposal. Those are all for you. I also have my speaking deck. I have some sample cost quotes, for how to actually format your cost quote in an email. I have some samples. You can literally just copy and paste them if you want. And some emails for raises as well, what email template you should use. Remember, do not wait for someone to notice your hard work. You have to be your own champion. If you ask for what you want, that's the only way that you're gonna get what you want. And I know, that this is hard, because we want to be humble. We want to be grateful. I do not believe that humility is about discounting your successes. I think it's about being grateful for them. Talking about your success and championing your work is not not being humble. It's just showing gratitude because you want to be able to express it and share it and help people with it. Quick email template for you. Actually, I'm gonna skip this cause this is in your workbook for you. I actually have an email template of a real email that one of my employees sent me to ask for a raise. You should use this exact template. That's in your workbook for you. Mode of Negotiation. In-person negotiations always do better. Face-to-face we know produces better rapport. However, and by the way, when we do face-to-face, a couple of different studies. Easier to decode body language, and they often produce better results. However, and this is my 'but wait', but wait, email can produce better outcomes in a specific scenario. So if conditions are unstable. So if you're really unsure about the research. You can barely fill in those columns. Sometimes it's actually better to initiate an email negotiation because it gives you a little bit of time in between the talking. If you're going in blind negotiation, sometimes email is better. When partners need to exit an email discussion. If you have someone who is not the decision maker, it doesn't always help you to sit for an hour and deliver an amazing presentation if they're just going to go and pitch to the person next door. Sometimes in that way, sending them things, and then they can forward on, is actually better, because you are able to put it all in an email, as opposed to worrying about it being translated or given to someone else for you. Cold Proposal Tips. Success history, not work history. It doesn't have to be your resume. I'm gonna give you a couple of those samples. I do not recommend putting your full resume. You want to think about your success history as opposed to your work history. I also have a couple of visual proof and video examples. You'll notice I have tons of photos in these proposals. The reason for that is because it's my way of showing social proof. I also very regularly film videos. I send them ahead of time and after. When you buy the course I actually have... Oh no actually, I think you can go get these. I put them on my website for you. If you go to, I actually put real videos that I have sent to clients up for you to go see. You're welcome to go check those out. Introduction videos, thank you videos, bonus videos, sample videos. That way, it's being forwarded on to a decision maker. They're actually hearing it from me. I put up some actual videos that I sent to clients so you can watch them. I'm actually going to save the wedding photographer sample for our next session. But here's a couple of examples of what they could bring. A Wedding Photographer. One sheet, a laminated pre-wedding checklist, a great little goody to bring to someone. Booklets of insider wedding tips, samples of relevant work, curated testimonials, serving hot cocoa. Different ways of bringing proof and aids. Our body language training program. I'm going to save this for our next section. What we do, what we bring with us. And... reminder, half of the negotiation can be won before you walk into the room. We've just spent the first hour and a half talking about what you do before you even walk in. That is some of the most important work you can do. Doing all these pre-steps, remember that if you buy the course now, you get a free copy of my book signed, which I'm so excited to give to all of you as well. This is kind of the bonus chapter for that. And I like to end every section on a question. This is for you guys as well. Which is, what was you biggest aha moment? In this first section, did something click? Was there an aha moment for you at home? I want you to put this in the chat because Chris is going to read off some of yours at home. But I'd love to hear, what was some of the aha moments you guys had here today so far? Yes? Prepping purposefully and not perfectly. That's really gonna help me get through all of this pre-work with a much more calm, peaceful, and a lot more confidence going into the negotiations. _ (Vanessa) Perfect. Thank you. Research can be procrastination sometimes. Yes, in back. I would just echo that having an actual format, having that sheet really having a clear understanding of a structure of how to approach what to do. Yes. Thank you for that. Use a checklist. (Vanessa) Now I know, oh my God, having a checklist of exactly what to do so I know how to approach going into a negotiation. I feel so much more prepared now. I mean for you, it's completely a confidence builder as well as the assets you can use in the room. I love it. Yes? (mumbles) Oh good. I personally love giving gifts, but I always give gifts for friends and family, but never when it comes to work, so this was a big eye opener, actually giving something that's useful and meaningful. (Vanessa) It is the differentiator, amazing. Exactly, preparing for the snack. I always experience good things when people do that to me, but now I think I need to do that more. (Vanessa) And I think it's the fun piece. It's really good. (Vanessa) It's a fun piece preparation. Something that I enjoy. Chris, at home, what are people saying? Yeah, let me read a couple here. The first one from Curly Shirley says that, "We love discussing the non-obvious assets, and the value they offer in the consultation. That was the aha." And then we've got a good one here from (mumbles). It was the quote, "The best move you can make in negotiation is to think of an incentive the other person hasn't even thought of. I love how Vanessa did this with her book giveaway. People thought they were just getting a video, and they're getting a book." (Vanessa) Yes, that's right! Yes, it's more, I'm like Oprah. I'm like, and more, and more, yes. So yes, this is the end of this section. Make sure you get the workbook, do the homework, fill out all the exercises I didn't have time to do cause our next section is during the negotiation.

Class Materials

Free Bonus Materials

Vanessa Van Edwards - Worth Audit
Vanessa Van Edwards - Why Negotiation is a Life Skill
Vanessa Van Edwards - Quotes Cheat Sheet
Vanessa Van Edwards - Negotiation Goal Worksheet
Vanessa Van Edwards - Mistakes Cheat Sheet
Vanessa Van Edwards - Best Books on Negotiations
Vanessa Van Edwards - Sample Videos

Bonus Materials with Purchase

Vanessa Van Edwards - Negotiation Cheat Sheet
Vanessa Van Edwards - Laws Cheat Sheet
Vanessa Van Edwards - Proposal Templates
Vanessa Van Edwards - They Say, You Say
Vanessa Van Edwards - Raising Your Rates Swipe Files
Vanessa Van Edwards - Money Scripts
Vanessa Van Edwards - Gotcha Moments
Vanessa Van Edwards - Deadlock Cheat Sheet
Vanessa Van Edwards - Cold Pitch Swipe Files
Vanessa Van Edwards - Case Study - Wedding Photographer
Vanessa Van Edwards - Case Study - Corporate Speaker
Vanessa Van Edwards - Asking for a Raise Swipe File
Vanessa Van Edwards - The Power of Negotiation Workbook

Ratings and Reviews


Vanessa is such a life changer. I feel so priveledged to have discovered all the wisdom that she shares. My dream is to be able to afford an in person training course with her. In the meantime, I watch the courses and purchasing them so that I can listen over and over. Wish my mom, who is now on life support would have been healthy and alert to have listened with me since my mother is my inspiration to seek how teachings from people like Vanessa. Mom, hoping that you know that I am continuing in your footsteps. Thank you Vanessa and hoping one day to learn from you in person.

Michele Gibson

What a valuable course! I appreciated Vanessa Van Edwards turning negotiation into a learnable skill. She lays out, step by step: * how to prepare for a negotiation, including a comprehensive worksheet, * what to say (and what not to say) during the negotiations, and * how to follow-up in the most effective manner. I learned skills applicable to complex work situations as well as getting my kids to do more chores. She teaches you how to turn an adversarial negotiation into a "partnership" which not just sounds good, but it is good and she gives you detailed, insightful guidance for how to do this. The 116 page workbook is crammed with practical insights. The 3 hour class and bonus materials are jam-packed with information I can use right now. So worth the investment.

Kaeli Sweigard

This was the perfect course at the perfect time for me. I have a lot going on right now and I know these skills are going to help me out every step of the way. They are transferable to so many situations! I can't believe how much awesome stuff there is in the workbook. Every question I have is answered, and there are so many examples, it's insane! Everyone should do this course.

Student Work