The Wheel of Misfortune: Avoidance
So let's take a look at the first one, avoidance. Now avoidance is really, we start here because everyone has issues with avoidance, right? At some level, we all know that we avoid something, even if it's not money, even if you love looking at your bank account, at some point we all have an avoidance thing. But what happens is, there's this avoidance loop, and avoidance really is based in anxiety, right? You have this anxiety which is really a projected fear, and that anxiety like bubbles up and gives you these like heebie jeebie feelings. And I don't wanna touch at it, I don't wanna look at it. So the anxiety causes you to avoid it, but then, what happens when you avoid it? Then it's like bigger, now avoiding it, and now it's like a bigger deal. And so now I have more anxiety and then that causes me to continue to avoid it, so we continue going through this. Now, I, when I have less money, I found that I had more avoidance. Because the less money I had, the more, when the refrigerator...
broke down, the more anxiety it gave me. So the more I avoided looking at my bank account, because it's just like this compounding thing, but then the more money I had, the less avoidance. But that's really because, as you learn to deal with the avoidance and face stuff head on and fix the blocks, then you begin to make more money. And I became a person who could handle more money, instead of just hoping that more money would cause less avoidance, because it doesn't. It never does. So what we're gonna do this morning is, we're gonna look at all of the ways for each block, that we are doing that block, so all the ways that we see, in this case, avoidance manifesting itself in our life. Now, I do wanna take a minute to say, the good news is that, in a later session, we're gonna talk about the antidote. We're gonna talk about what to do to correct these blocks. But right now, we're just gonna go through so that you can identify what it is that you're doing. So if we have a problem in avoidance, the first and foremost, basic, is that we simply avoid looking at our money. Right, if I have anxiety, I don't want to look at my bank account. I know it's low, so if I don't look, perhaps it will get higher. (all laugh) I don't want to look at what the cumulative amount of all my credit cards is, because, when I just have to pay the minimum payment, then I really don't have to look at it. I don't really want to look at my money in terms of, if I have the right amount in my 401k or retirement plan, because, if I just keep going on my way, then the anxiety, I feel like I can just push it behind the curtain. The next one is, we avoid making a decision. While avoiding our money is the obvious way that we see avoidance, some of the bigger ways that we see avoidance is around our own person. And when we avoid making a decision, we really are avoiding doing the thing that's going to bring us more money. So when we avoid making a decision, we're really avoiding making the wrong choice, because if I decide it might go wrong, it might not work in my favor, I might mess it up. And so, instead of addressing, if it goes wrong, this will happen, we just completely avoid making a decision in the first place. And this blocks your money, because the decision to implement a marketing plan, or the decision of how you're gonna go out and get more clients, or the decision to go and do a different job, is what's going to help you make more money. Now I came from corporate, I spent 10 years in a corporate job that I hated. Now on the side, I was looking for a business. And so I found, I wanted to do a photography business. And I started that business, and I ran that business on the side for years. Years, that business was profitable from day one! I started the business because I won a camera! (audience laughs) I didn't even, I didn't have to pay money! Now, what you'll find is, I'm tight-fisted, so that actually worked out really well for me. But I actually didn't even have any money into this business. I started making money from day one, and I took years! Years to leave that corporate job, because I couldn't make the decision. Now, how much more and how much faster could I have built that business and made more money, and dealt with the money issues, if I just could've made the decision, but the security of the corporate job, and me not looking at what I could have, caused me to stay stuck. Procrastination and perfectionism, I know these are all near and dear to our hearts. (audience laughs) And you pretty much know procrastination is avoidance. Right, so when we procrastinate, we find all these other things to do, instead of doing the thing that we need to do, like clean your house, that's totally not me, I don't like cleaning, but I would take a nap. I would get on Facebook. I would do something else, in order to not do the thing that I know I need to do. But perfectionism is a little bit more sneaky, because we think that we're being more honorable, and I'm all for excellence in your work, surely, but perfectionism makes the thing that we need to do, that has to be so perfect that I can't get started. And if you have a problem with perfectionism, sometimes, you can get started, but then it's not perfect enough, so we stop. And then we start, and then we stop, and then we start, and then we stop. But what we're really doing is avoiding. We're avoiding the thing that's down the path, that we're scared of, which is coming up, putting yourself out there. We're avoiding putting ourselves out there. It's why we're trying to make it perfect, so we just don't have to do that, because really, this is what holds a lot of us up. If I make a successful business, if I go out on my own, I might be judged. People might think I'm too old, too young, too fat, too slow, too dumb, too anything. We all know what our thing is. And I don't want to put myself out there, but when we don't put ourselves out there, we just stay small, and we can't make more money because we're incognito. Nobody see me, because if you see me, you might see my vulnerabilities. But that is the very thing that's gonna put you out there and have you, even if you fail, you learn something, and you make the changes, and you move forward. And that moving forward is what moves your money. Moving forward moves your money, how do I know this? Because I stayed in a corporate job for way too long! I stayed there because I couldn't make the decision. I couldn't put myself out there and do the thing that I needed to do. And it stopped my money for years. The other way that we don't put ourselves out there is, we avoid people. Maybe we don't like people, we don't want to be bothered by people, but we basically do not want to be around or have people see us. And so we avoid people. But the problem is, the issue when we avoid people is that the answer to every problem is a person. If you need to get a better job, then it's the referral of someone that sends you a better job, or the person who you're interviewing with, or your clients. It's getting more clients that are the answer to you needing more money. It's people. Now I'm not saying that you have to be an extrovert if you're an introvert, but even if you're an introvert and you're avoiding people, you don't have to stand up on stage and talk to people, but you can talk to people one on one. The answer to every problem is a person. And when we avoid people, we avoid putting ourselves out there, in order to make more money.