What we wanna do now is, think about, what do we wanna be mindful of and what are actions, specifically tied to ourselves as leaders. We did a little bit more general, processing of what are outcomes we want, what are skills and what are practices that would support that? But now we're gonna talk about you specifically as a leader. What I want you to write down is, one to two key characteristics, of the mindset you need in order to be successful. So for me for example, I can be very fast and push really hard on things, so one of my key mindsets is patience. And the other one for me would be probably, trust. 'Cause I need to let people help me. Sometimes I like to do it all myself. I can do it the right way I know how exactly I want it done. So those are two that would be two of mine. And then, with those, once you pick those, what are actions that reflect that intentional mindset? So for me with patience and action is, when someone is speaking, I breathe from my belly, and do not open ...
my mouth like I look like I'm about to talk. That's one thing. The second would be, an action that support that would be, ask questions before I give my thoughts. As much as possible. So there'd be couple actions that would relate to that. So for you, what are the one or two key characteristics of a mindset for you to be successful and what are actions that relate? Alright, does anyone have one that they can share? Kick us off? Yeah.
So I wrote focused and direct.
And then to support that, just taking time to create a cohesive vision. And then also taking the time to listen to feedback, as I deliver that vision.
Great, so we have, time for vision, and then listening for vision? Okay. So, and this is for all of us. Thank you for sharing Ruben, we'll gonna coach you through, but it's for everyone. When we talk about the characteristics, very clear, focus and direct, is that what we said? Okay. So, that's great. Now, this is often really tricky when we get down to, actions. We want to design our actions so there's no beach ball that has to spin to buffer. Like our cognitive load are buffering to figure out, what do I actually need to do in the moment? We want to have that completely designed away, so all we have to do is do the action. If there's any thinking about the action before we do action they are adding an extra step or barrier between you and that thing. So for you, let's be a little more specific. Creating time for the vision, what specifically is the action you're gonna do? What is the action you're gonna take to create that time?
So maybe like, actually writing it out, and having it be clear and visualizing it.
Great, so for you, part of it's gonna be, I'm gonna have a notebook with me. I'm gonna write it down on paper with a pen. Great! So thinking about time, let's get more specific on the time piece. Are you going to block time on your calendar? Are you doing it at work or on the weekend, when do you think, how much time do you wanna block, when and where? Give us a little piece of that.
I would say, just taking, blocking that time, before I even start any project or something like that.
How much time do you wanna block for yourself?
So maybe... An hour.
An hour? Cool. 60 minute block. Great. Do you want to do that in the office or do that at home, or at a coffee shop, or a park? Like where do you work best for creative thinking, visioning?
I would say at home. Before I even enter the space entirely.
Great and when do you most creative, is it in the morning on a weekday, or is it on the weekend, is it in the evening, when works best for you?
Evening? Weekday or weekend?
Weekday, cool. So you can see as I'm coaching Ruben, this is for all of us, it really helps to get very specific on the action that's gonna reflect that intentional mindset, so that when it comes to actually committing yourself to it, it's so clear, you know what you've designed already. Does that make sense? Cool. Thanks for letting us push you on that one Ruben. You're like, "I didn't sign up for all this!" (laughs) Does anyone have one more they want to share? Probably not if you've seen that coaching, OK great. (laughs)
I do. Preparedness is my characteristic. And actions I'd like to take, I think similar to what we were just talking about. Blocking of specific time in the day, so being prepared to all meetings, but also one-on-one so I can be flexible between, in where those multiple acts?
So let's pause you there, great. Let's stay with one-on-ones for a second. That's a key one because we're about to go into one-on-ones in a little bit. How much preparedness time do you need for each one-on-one?
I would love 15-minutes at least, minimum.
And when would you be able to do that? For these one-on-ones?
I would love to be able to do that right before I go into the one-on-ones so I'm really fresh for that person.
Okay great, so you like to anchor it as much as possible to the 15-minutes right before. So you're fresh? Great. So your commitment is to create space in your calendar, of at least 15-minutes preceding the one-on-one? So the action I'd also say, is to calendar in that 15-minutes on your calendar. So it's blocked and protected. But that's great. So if it's preparedness, that's part of your mindset. The action is, I'm going to block 15-minutes on my calendar before every one-on-one. Boom. That's now a habit. That becomes automatic, that becomes part of your leadership style or your management approach. Then you can tell people, new managers in 10-years, "How are you so successful Amber?" And you'll be like, "Well I blocked 15-minutes before my one-on-ones." Right? So we're building, designing habits of success, fantastic. We're gonna keep moving. So, the idea is, I've gone through with you, some of the concepts around mindfulness and emotional intelligence. One piece to say is we gave you a taste of, a breathing exercise that is a mindfulness practice. Just one of 'em, but there's a whole world of people that are in this community that are trying to be more intentional, more mindful, get the most out of their human being. And so what I'm really encouraging you to do is, when you leave here, seek resources. There are so many. Podcasts are huge, source you can look up. There's On Being by Krista Tippett is one example of mindfulness podcast. Sam Harris talks a lot about meditation and mindfulness. There's a lot more out there as well, so seek podcasts. They're often free. Apps, there are so many meditation apps or mindfulness apps of different kinds and they're becoming more, every single day. So look for the ratings, look around for recommendations, and find an app that's gonna help you, live the practice that's gonna build the skill and get the outcome that you want. Put some stuff in your phone that's there to help you, not just things like Instagram and Snapchat, which aren't necessarily that was there to help you. And the last I'll say is, any kind of retreat. I really believe in immersion training. So if you wanna get yoga to be a bigger part of your life, or you want meditation to be a bigger part of your life, I recommend going and seeking a retreat where you can immerse yourself in that practice, so it switches the way your brain is structured. It really makes a huge difference. Carving at the time can be hard, but if you just claim it and defend it, it happens. So retreats are a big component. That's how I became a meditator. I went to a 10-day silent meditation retreat, before ever having meditated before really. I'd have two or three times meditating without any guidance, but I knew it was something I wanted to do, I knew it was important for me. I was like a very chaotic mind, didn't have the focus that I wanted, didn't have the discipline that I wanted. So I just signed myself up, I had friends that went. They recommended it and so I put myself in a position to be 10-day silent Vipassana (laughs) meditation. And it was great. It was hard at first and then I broke through. Because of that immersion, it actually broke me, kind of like a wild horse. And I was able to tame myself. So, we're gonna talk a little bit later, about what it takes to really put yourself in a position to thrive. Especially in the feedback course, around throwing your hat over the fence. Sometimes you have to just know what you want, and then throw it over and trust yourself to figure out a way to get over there and find it, OK?