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Self-Doubt, Anxiety & Creatives

Lesson 8 from: FAST CLASS: How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence

Mel Robbins

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Lesson Info

8. Self-Doubt, Anxiety & Creatives

Next Lesson: Self-Doubt Symptoms

Lesson Info

Self-Doubt, Anxiety & Creatives

you know, my definition of confidence is it is the decision to try and I have that definition because it anchors confidence in action versus feeling and that question about do certain personality types. I personally believe the answer comes down Teoh. What do you have companies competency built into? And so there are some personality types that might be a little bit more reckless, so they'll try anything. But it's not with the intent to build any kind of skill. And so I don't think that personality, uh, determines somebody's level of confidence. I don't think that, um, extroverted people are necessarily more confident than introverted people. In fact, if you look at some of the research about leadership on about who makes more money, ah, and who does better selling? Actually, all of the signs point to folks that that self identify as introverted as being more successful in those areas. And so again, it goes back to what we talked about in some of the other lessons about how your confid...

ence of situational it's not a personality trait now. One of the earlier modules was about how there's a unique challenge and opportunity to being a creator right, and I like you as a creator, know that that means that you're in the business that you're in, because your heart is in it. And it's deeply personal work for you. And that comes with a whole level of challenges, because when you get rejected or you're exposed or you're asked to try something new, it's like a personal assault on you. And Self Doubt has plagued creatives forever. So this is the doubt. That's fine for the creative process, because your creativity actually requires tan gentle thinking. Your creativity requires time for your mind to wander. Your creativity requires you to doubt and to redo and to go back to the drawing board. That is the process of creating this bullshit right here, where you beat yourself up where you waste time because it's not happening. This is the stuff we want to stop because you can have room to have The creative process takes time, but you don't have to torture yourself. Why you do that? There's this. There's a cognitive bias that our minds have called the spotlight effect. It's actually a protection mechanism to to try to keep you out of danger. What happens is whenever your mind perceives that there's any kind of risk. It is designed to flood with cortisol, which is a stress hormone, and suddenly magnify the problem. This is how self doubt works. You get worried about something, cortisol flies in, you start thinking now the risk feels so huge. So you're not gonna make that cold call. You're not gonna ask for $4000 instead of $2000. And guess how fast it happens. Five seconds flat, sometimes way faster. And so what's interesting about this photo is that, you know, there's probably a coach standing behind Sammy going. Come on, Sammy. You got this, kiddo. You got this. You just went off the middle layer were only four feet higher. Buddy, you got this. Okay, we're to count backwards, right? 543 Let's go. Or Mom. Come on, Sammy. I'll take you to the lip. He did plenty. Come on. You get this Regal's or older brother. That's usually how it happens, right? Yeah, we're alone. And so the thing that's so amazing about starting to understand that it's up to you and understand how feelings rise up. But you have a choice about what you do after him. You truly have power over that. You do. When you start to understand that you get full control over your life, you have the ability to push yourself. You truly dio. So let me show you how this kind of plays with science. So we already talked about self doubt, right? So you've got these feelings that rise up those feelings trigger action for most of its. We start by overthinking, and then the overthinking leads you into this loop that you get stuck in that gets encoded in your brain, where you start to doubt yourself. Now the interesting thing and we're gonna start weaving in the science of habits is that human beings learn information and chunks. That's how we learn. You learn information in chunks. One of the reasons why bias, whether it's bias against gender or bias against razor bias against yourself, is so strong is because when you pair information, it gets stuck together as a pair. So if I say peanut butter, what's the first thing you think? Correct. That got encoded as a chunk. And so what's happening for you is if you start to say to yourself I'm the kind of person who or when I feel failure, I think shrink. You've encoded it as a chunk of information that becomes automatic up here. And so the only way. And this is called the golden rule of habits. Okay, the Onley way that we can get rid of this. There's a trigger. There's a behavior Repeat, and then there's something There's an outcome. Okay, when you change the behavior, you trick your mind because we can't control this thing. This is why being sober is so incredibly difficult. Because there are so many triggers. There's the smell. There's the bars. There's the people used to drink with. There's the time a day that it is there certain songs that come on all of those air triggers that trigger you to go into a chunk of pay behavior that's encoded self doubt, confidence execs, something exact same thing, Um, and it's for all of these. You feel any of these things? It's the same chunk that's happening to you, and this is what we're gonna replace it with. So if what you do now is, you feel something and then you stop and think where you hesitate. Rehydrate do this, We're gonna teach you. You can feel all this stuff and you should, because it's normal. But we're gonna teach you to insert this. And now we've district of rain. Your brain didn't know that just happened because it encoded it is a chunk, and we inserted a filling that was different. Really, really interesting stuff. And then, of course, what happens over time? Because you now know the competency loop is that you're always building confidence because you become the kind of person despite what kind of personality you may have that when that trigger hits and you feel yourself shrinking, you know that what you're going to dio is 54321 and go. That's how the five second rule acts as a starting ritual to help you change behavior that's encoded in your brain and not only actions but also thought patterns. So what's happening in your mind is right here in the red in the central region of your brain. This is where those patterns get encoded. This is where habit loops become engineered into your mind as a closed loop system, something that you do without even thinking. So first you got to know what you want to do. Second, you gotta catch it. When the automatic behavior happens, the if you will, and then third, you insert the new behavior. Um, we'll build on this. So if what happens in your mind is that this part of your brain is where automatic behavior is stored, it's all stored here because you've built the competency. It's become a habit. It's something you can do without thinking. This puppy right here is your prefrontal cortex. If I were to pick up a camera and try to learn what some of you know, this would be blinking seriously. Like it like like a Christmas tree lights blinking. This part of your brain is active and functional MRI's when you're learning new behaviour, when you're acting with courage and when you're doing any kind of strategic thinking. So in order to change yourself, we got to get you out of here, and we got to activate this part of the brain and what's cool about the five second rule because this part of the brain will fight you on changing because you already know you're supposed to put your right leg and first this part of the brain is active when I'm training myself to interrupt those impulses and use this one. So this part of the brain makes it harder. This part of the brain makes change easy when you count backwards. 54321 you activate the prefrontal cortex. That's what's happening. That's why the stupid thing works. Seriously, Um, and so you've primed your mind to work with you. Now, back in the previous slide, let's even go back real quick, moving up where you were seeing the habit loops. What you're doing is in the language of habit science. So there's a golden rule of habit and and the golden rule is you can't change triggers, but you can replace the behavior. You can't change the triggers, but you can replace the behavior. Okay, so again, focusing on the feelings that trigger self doubt. That's not what we're gonna dio. We're going to focus on the behaviors that you engage in when you feel self doubt

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Ratings and Reviews

maria manolaros
 

Looking to build some more confidence and push through the imposter feeling I have trying to sell myself as a self taught artist. Happy to say I use the 54321 rule a lot and I didn’t know it. I call it my what have I got to loose rule. I also learned some new techniques and good “habits” to keep my day on track and prepare myself against any fear or anxiety I may encounter when powering through my day. A great motivator, Mel keeps it simple with advice and tips backed by proven scientific research . Highly recommend this

Joshua WAlters
 

I feel so called out! And that's a really good thing!

Faisal Sajjad
 

Here is Dr. Faisal Sajjad From Pakistan. Outstanding Instructions to Control Self-Doubt and Anxiety by Mam Mel Robbin. It was a fantastic course.

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