The 5 M's of Momentum
What kind of things do you say? I know you say to ask new questions, but like say in an elevator just be like, so what do you do? Without even sounding like you're trying to hit on somebody. I mean, how do you sort of (laughing), it's just there's so many potential to go wrong.
There really is and there really has. (laughing) I wanna be very transparent. What I've found is this next process that we go through gave me tools. So I'll find that people are naturally curious from about two or even earlier. From about two to seven years old we are way curious, demonstrably so, almost getting in trouble so. And then what's that quote where we stop being creative about second grade? Because in second grade they gave us worksheets that you had to fill out and have a right or wrong answer, so then we just kinda slowed down. The tool that I have is how I lead someone to the next statement. I lead someone to the next conversation. You know, it's interesting. Who's ever been to a networking event...
that you left and you wished you hadn't gone to the networking event? Has anyone been to one of those? Now, on the other side, who's ever been to a networking event that you're so glad you went? My question to each one of you is what was the difference? What was the difference? Because what I wanna do is I wanna go back and unpack what the difference was. The events that I go to that I'm glad I went to, I got to talk with the person, not about their job. So how do I not make it awkward? I'm present. If I can tell someone, I'm gonna make something up, but this is just one that was recent for me. Someone that I, the elevator closed, made eye contact. He was roller bag suitcase and a backpack. And I'm like, oh, how was your trip? That's all it took. By the time we're on the 13th floor I found out that he'd gone to, was just delivering a program to the company that I was delivering a program. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That fast. Other times I'll look at someone and they're just, okay. But I'm short too, so sometimes I can sneak on in there. (audience laughs) Let me play around with this, because I think this next question series, questions continue the conversation, statements end them. If I can ask a question and then shut up that's my job. Is can I lay a question out there that someone continues talking about? The key is asking a question that I actually care about the answer to. And that's been one. Anyone found themselves in a conversation that you were actually done with, but you felt kind of bad about walking away, so you just kind of hung out there for a while? My wife Jodi has told me that that sometimes she gets there and stays a little bit longer than I do. But one of my known fors is I've literally walked away from conversations. And I can only talk about traffic so much, I'm just like, yes, it's the Bay Area, there's traffic. If someone's like, I couldn't believe there was that much, it's the Bay Area, there's traffic. So how do we move that off to the side. Let me give you some tools, let me rock through this. Five questions. And every question starts off with a, by the way, the five Ms of momentum, I kind of kept it all M to keep it real easy. So I'll run through these real fast. When I ask you what you want to be, when I ask you what you wanna be known for what I'm searching for is what are your motives for action? What are you engaged in? What are you learning about? What can you not not notice when you walk into a building? Now this is very basic, all the way up to extremely, like huge. Let me give you a very basic one. Is anybody in this room moving? Apartments, condos, houses. You've got something going on where you're looking for or about to move into or just moved into some place new. I tried to give as many examples to see if I can get anybody. What's amazing is once you start noticing that you're about to move locations you'll notice it everywhere around. Your motives for action will start to attract information. I want to be known for submitting a book proposal to my publisher by the end of the year, that's what I wanna be known for. I wanna be known for qualifying to compete at the Olympic Distance Nationals and Triathlon. It's what I wanna be known for. The moment that I put that marker out there now I can go to the next question, whom can I learn from? We call them mentors by the way. Whom can I learn from? And we're gonna unpack mentors, 'cause there's many kinds of mentors. Much more so than what I was brought up to traditionally think. I always thought a mentor was someone who was just older than me and that would take the time to teach me what they knew. But I'm finding today is I have a different definition for that word, because the moment that I start learning from someone now the information start to come at me so fast and I can start to build that project plan about what I wanna be known for. I need to slow down and identify what are three subprojects that I can manage over the course of 90 days, 180 days, 365 days? I like going for three milestones. If it's a 90 day project I'm on I love the 30, 30, 30. See, when I step back and I have a 90 day plan, I know where I need to be in 90 days, I back that up to where I need to be in 60 days, I back that to where I need to be at 30 days. Now I have a 30 sprint. Oh, by the way, if I get to day 30 and I'm behind by a week, guess what that means for the 90 day goal? It's now moved out. No surprises. Fewer surprises. The moment that I set up milestones I'm gonna start winning. It's just natural, it's human. The moment you put your attention on something, the moment a mentor recommends you read a book, recommends you take a class, the moment a mentor introduces you to someone who could help you along the way you're going to monitor for wins. The question we ask, what positive things are happening that you can acknowledge? What positive things are happening? We got the definitions of momentum, the very clinical, physical, a body in motion that tends to stay in motion until a force equal or of greater, those things. Well, wait a minute. In a day there are so many things, sometimes small. But if I look back on that day and go, oh my gosh, we made progress today. For those of you who have a service oriented business, we got three in-bound phone calls today. For those of you who are building a brand, we got new subscribers via our website today. For those of you who are parents of a child who may be having a tough time right now, wow, kid turned in their homework today. These little things that when we notice we can expand. I'll talk about the significance of positive acknowledgement and reinforcement. And then that leads us to the fifth M. What small change can I make next? In fact, if you look up the word modify in the dictionary it says small change. We're not asking you to change everything. We're not asking you to go to your closet and get rid of all of your clothes. We're not asking you to go the fridge and throw out all the food. I'm asking you to make a small change deliberately with tracking and intentional.